In just three days my oldest daughter will be married. How did we get here so fast? As I looked for an old blog post to share with you all today this one reminded me, though I am now in a different season of life, to cling to Jesus in the midst of whatever situation I find myself in. That I am reconciled to God through the blood of the cross and have the Spirit living and actively at work in me is truth I don’t want to lose sight of - even in the midst of busy wedding preparations!

Clinging to the Cross
November 13, 2007

It all began on a plane ride to California to visit my parents. The man God providentially sat me next to was engrossed in his book. I glanced over to see what he was reading and was surprised to see that it was God Is Not Great. I had seen the book at a bookstore just a few weeks prior so I recognized that it was an atheistic book. The man was not just casually reading either; he had a highlighter in hand and was highlighting every other paragraph. Surely, I thought, God must want me to talk to this man about the gospel. I got out the book I had brought along to read. Ironically, the book was titled When I Don’t Desire God, written by John Piper. In my book, Piper was explaining how any desire we have for God is a gift from Him. I was filled with fresh awe that God had chosen me. What a vivid example – two people sitting side by side on a plane in completely opposite worlds. I did nothing to deserve eyes that were opened to the truth of the gospel. What overwhelming gratefulness came over me! I kept glancing at the man trying to catch his eye but he never even looked my direction. After reading awhile he closed his eyes and slept for the rest of the trip. Though I didn’t have opportunity to speak to him I did speak to the Father on his behalf. I prayed for God to open his eyes to the truth. I prayed for him to see the error in what he was reading. I prayed for God to invade his mind while he slept.

The next week was very different from my usual routine. I spent my days among elderly people. I ate with them, exercised with them, went to Bible study with them, and sat around with them. Two of these people were my own parents but there were plenty of others as well. I had an up close and personal look at how many people live out the last years of their lives. What I saw grieved me a bit. God seemed somehow absent in the majority of lives. Even my own parents seemed to have forgotten the gospel. At Bible study with my dad, the teacher asked a question. A woman behind me did not just give the appropriate answer, which was Jesus, but she said “precious Jesus.” Yes! That’s what I want for my life whether young or old – to count Jesus as precious. I was filled with so much resolve to live my life clinging to Christ now while I am able. When my body or mind fails me I want Him to be so much a part of me that somehow He will still be on my heart and mind.

I arrived home on a Saturday night and the next morning our pastor preached a sermon about worship, using Paul’s’ proclamation from Philippians 1:21 for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.
 He spoke of taking hold of Christ now in this life with all that we have so that we can truly say to live is Christ. Oh how that resonated with my heart!

Then Monday came around, followed by two weeks of what seemed like fairly regular struggle with parenting and homeschooling. What does clinging to Christ look like when you feel like you are in the trenches of life dealing with your own sin or someone else’s? Where is Christ when nothing you plan goes as you hoped? What does the gospel even have to do with homeschooling or parenting anyway?
Plenty! A song that my husband and I have been playing very frequently these days is entitled Clinging to the Cross, written by Tim Hughes. One day I literally sat with my head up close to the speaker, while this song played loudly, praying for God to work in me to make this reality. What is there in life, anyway, that the gospel does not address? When I have a struggle with sin I know that Jesus paid for it. When I deal with children who struggle with sin (is there any other kind of child?) I need to remind them of the gospel and remind myself of God’s mercy toward me. When I feel overwhelmed with responsibilities of training hearts that are not always willing to receive that training I remember that Christ is all I need and he will never let me go. He is leading me to that place where my tears will all be wiped away. Here are the lyrics:

My soul is weak – My heart is numb
I cannot see – But still my hope is found in You
I’ll hold on tightly – You will never let me go
For Jesus, You will never fail – Jesus, You will never fail

(chorus)
Simply to the cross I cling – Letting go of all earthly things
Clinging to the cross – Mercy’s found a way for me
Hope is here as I am free – Jesus, You are all I need
Clinging to the cross

Even darkness is as light to You, my Lord
So light the way and lead me home
To that place where every tear is wiped away
For Jesus, You will never fail – Jesus, You will never fail

(Bridge)
What a Savior, what a story
You were crucified but now You are alive
So amazing, such a mystery
You were crucified but now You are alive

[Tim Hughes & Brooke Fraser, Clinging To The Cross]

In quiet moments of reflection, joyous worship in song, or listening to a pastor or teacher, I see the gospel clearly. What I need most is to see the gospel in the midst of trial. Not just after, but during. Oh how I want to cling to the cross with my whole heart – and that, I know, is a gift from God. He opened up my eyes and I am so amazed at his grace towards me.